What really happens when you are the first born?

Here's a question that I am asked all the time.... how does it feel to be the oldest of four?
My answer has always been I hate it, but now that I am older and have been through some experience and a whole lot of good and bad memories. I feel that I don't have a right or wrong answer to that question, but I do know this....everyone depends on you for everything.

When your siblings need to borrow money, you are the first person they call or come to. (Of course I open my wallet and give them $20 here and there) Or when they get into an arguement with their spouses, they call you in the middle of the night to see if they can crash on your couch. (Of course I go and pick them up and bring them back home) Or how about when they need a sitter because no-one else will watch their crazy kids because no-one knows how to handle them but you. So who has to watch the crazy kids? ((I do))

I am the security blanket, I am the one that they depend on, I am the shoulder they cry on when needed. I don't mind, I have always been the protector, but who can I depend on? I don't really have anyone that I can talk with about my problems or what I am thinking or how I am feeling. I can really afford to get sick or take a day off because they all depend on me.

I had to be the one to get into the fights with the school bully's because my little brother's had said something stupid to them. I was the one who had to stand up to the teacher for my little sister because the teacher did not understand where my sister was coming from.

I had to stop the fights between my two brothers, they would fight until blood was dripping. Those fights were very ugly. I remember when my youngest brother threw a wrench at the middle of my other brothers back and he went down hard. My mom wasn't home at the time so I had to be the one to stop the fight. When I turned around to look at my brother who was laying on the floor, he jumped up and grabbed the hammer and ran towards my younger brother with it LIKE SOME CRAZY MANIAC. I had to grab the hammer out of his hand before he hit my younger brother in the head with it. That would have been really ugly and hard to explain.

I don't know if I am making any sense in this blog, but I am sure you all will let me know.